1 month old!!!

My Joshua is going to be one-month old tomorrow and I can hardly believe it. Time seemed to drag when I was pregnant with him and now it seems to be slipping by too fast. These past four weeks have been simply amazing. I'm in love with my little man. :-)  He's such a good baby. He only cries when he needs to be changed or if he's hungry and that's it (so far)! The rest of the time he just sleeps and for about ten minutes or so, he'll be awake and look around. I like to think he's looking at Alexandra somewhere.

I have to be honest though and say, the fear I had when I was pregnant with him is still here, but not the same. I'm still terrified something is going to happen to him, but I feel like I have a better sense of control over it, if that makes any sense. I'm not worried that my body is going to kill him overnight like I was. His head right now scares me the most. I keep thinking of Fools Rush In, when the one relative tells Matthew Perry's character to hold the baby's head when she hands him her baby and he says, "Why, is it going to fall off?" LOL! But I have a feeling he's not quite as fragile as I think he is. He's a tough little guy. I am constantly checking to see if he's still breathing or poking him to make him move. I know if Alexandra was here, I would have done that with her too, but I doubt it would be on my mind all the time. I think after a loss, it's just natural to imagine everything that can/could go wrong. I know most parents do anyway, but I think after a loss, those thoughts stay with you even more. Nevertheless, despite all the fear, I am loving every day with Joshua. I love the diaper changing. I love the feedings. I love the crying. I love it all!

Here are a few pictures of the little guy. I realize I haven't been blogging as often as I would like, so if there are any questions about Joshua or whatever, please ask. I realized after I had Joshua, there were so many questions and things I had no clue about and I wish I would have asked beforehand!! So, I'd be happy to answer any questions if there are any. 

When I was pregnant, I refused to read anything about what happens AFTER the baby is born because I thought it might "jinx" things...and now I'm thinking, hmm..maybe I should have read some of that stuff after all. :-)  So I'm still learning too... A LOT.