22 Weeks

Am I the only one that is not quite comforted by everything "looking good"? Because, that's all I ever heard with Alexandra until things WEREN'T looking good... But, to try and sound a bit more positive, today, everything looked good. I am right on track and baby is actually measuring a little ahead, in the 55% percentile and weighs 1 lb. 4 oz. So today I feel great about things. Next week (or maybe even tomorrow) I'll be worrying again. If they did ultrasounds every single day, I seriously think I would be okay with that. :-)  I go back for another ultrasound in about five weeks and start NSTs shortly after that. Here is a picture of our little guy... and I'm not sure why it showed up sideways. :/

The other night, I went to buy a "Baby's 1st Halloween" onesie for my new niece along with some other things. I should have also been buying Alexandra one and it felt so sad. Then, I had every intention of starting to buy some blue things for this baby, but I got too scared. The logical side of me says that buying things for this baby will not "jinx" him in any way, but the pyschological side of me says, "don't even think about doing that stuff yet! are you kidding me??" Maybe someday soon...or maybe he'll just run around naked for the first few days after he's born, what's the harm in that? Or maybe he'll wear pink for the first week or so... I don't know. I just hope he comes home.

20 weeks

Tomorrow I will officially be 21 weeks pregnant. Normally, I would have a sigh of relief because I have gotten this far, but let's face it..I still have a hell of a long ways to go. I'm not even at my "scary" week yet (35 weeks). I don't think I'm going to feel relieved until this baby boy is in my arms screaming. I hate this feeling of worry and doom. I try to be positive every day though too, it's just super hard.

Today I called my doctor to ask her if what I've been feeling lately is normal. I barely ever did this with Alexandra. I always thought, it's normal... I'm fine. And would usually take whatever I read in my books or online as being okay. Not this time! My belly has been feeling tight and full, usually in the evenings when I'm home from work. It doesn't hurt and it's just uncomfortable to say the least. I don't feel like walking anywhere and I just want to sit my ass down on the couch and watch TV. So I called today about it and my doctor said to come on in for some reassurance. Sure enough, baby's heartbeat was a perfect 150 bpm and she said it was everything just stretching. Has anyone felt like this? I'm just curious. The only thing that worried me was it wasn't going away after a few minutes and lasting for hours. But I guess it's all normal. :-)

I'm glad everything is okay and I'm really glad my doctor agreed to see me. I wasn't expecting an actual visit. I thought she would just call back and tell me what it was, so that was actually nice (considering I just saw her Tuesday too)! I go for another ultrasound in two weeks. I'm looking forward to it, but also worrying...of course.