Dear Joshua

Dear Joshua,

Someday, you are going to be old enough to read all about your big sister and all about the journey I've had to bring you home. Having you was probably one of the most challenging things I have ever done, next to saying goodbye to your big sister. I was (and still am) terrified of losing you and it's so scary because I know what can happen and you are wanted so much by us all. The only thing that you need to know is how loved you are, just like your sister.

First off, let me start by saying you were not actually due until February 19th! I could still be pregnant with you and right now, that is hard for me to imagine. The last few weeks of my pregnancy with you were horrifying for me. I couldn't sleep because I was afraid I would lose you during the night. Every night, I gave you a little pep talk to get through the night. I would say, 'Joshua, get big and strong! Move around a lot and have a good night, I love you!' and Daddy would say, 'Joshua...stay alive!'. It's sweet and endearing and very sad at the same time because I doubt expecting parents say those type of things to their babies unless they have suffered a loss like your Mommy & Daddy did with Alexandra. But we did everything we could think of to bring you home safe. We had three doctors watching you and monitored you every night. I listened to your heartbeat for half an hour each night just to be sure you were okay.

Luckily, your doctors wanted you to be born early, at 37 weeks! So on February 3, 2011, we were off to the hospital to have you via a scheduled c-section. It was a cold day here, 14 degrees to be exact! There were school closings and power outages everywhere, including your hospital! Because of that, we had to wait around for a good seven hours. You were supposed to be delivered sometime after 9:30 a.m. Instead, you came into the world at 2:49 p.m., weighing in at 6 lbs. 11 oz., 18.8 in. long and perfect in every way! I remember the doctors showing us to you right after you were delivered and you were not happy at all to be out in the world, but I fell in love with your little cry the minute I heard it. Daddy got to hold you first. What a wonderful feeling it was to see you cry and open your eyes.

You are a wonderful baby. You only cry when you are wet or hungry and all the other times, you are very content just sleeping. I can't wait until you start to stay awake a little more. I love it when you are awake, just looking around at everything. I love seeing your pretty eyes. I love you so much and I cannot tell you how happy you are making your Mommy & Daddy and entire family. You have so many family and friends who are so happy to see you too. You are very loved and I am sure you are going to be spoiled rotten every day. I hope you know what a great big sister you have. I wish you could have met her and I wish she could be here with you today, but I will make sure you know a little bit about her while you are here. She'll watch over you every day, just like she watches over your Mommy & Daddy.

Welcome to the world Joshua William. We are so happy and thrilled you made it here, safe and sound.