I hesitated to post this on Facebook today because to the "normal" person, it could be taken as being selfish and they might think you're saying you're going to be a "better" Mom than them. I know it's ridiculous for a babyloss Mom to think that...but I think of those things. So I posted it here instead. One of these days when I'm annoyed or bitter, I'll probably post it! lol But I thought it was too good not to share... so here it is.
Thoughts on Becoming a Mother
There are women that become mothers without effort,
without thought, without patience or loss and though
they are good mothers and love their children, I know
that I will be better.
I will be not be better because of genetics, or money or that
I have read more books but because I have struggled and
toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I
have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over
and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have
appreciation are those who have struggled to attain
their dreams. I will notice EVERYTHING about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and
discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the
rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night
to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort,
hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take
another temperature, pop another pill, take another
shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be
crying for me.
I count myself blessed in this sense; that God has
given me this insight, this special vision with which
I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a
child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter,
neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my
own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many
never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from
their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see
it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it
less lonely. I have learned the immense power of
another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that
moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and
when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion
that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes I will be a wonderful mother.-author unknown
beautiful!!!!
ReplyDeleteI understand why you posted that here. That poem is perfect.
ReplyDeleteLove it! I'm kind of shocked that through our fertility treatments I hadn't seen this one yet.
ReplyDeletethat's beautiful and you know what as harsh as it may sound to people, YOU will be a better mother than a lot of people because you have lost a child. Those who don't know what it's like to really grieve cannot truly experience real joy.
ReplyDeleteThat is beautiful! Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI think I read that one other time and still love it <3
ReplyDeleteI can see how a "normal" person would misinterpret this though I do not think they should because its not in the context they take it as.
ReplyDeleteLosing a child gives us a different perspective on life. thank you for sharing *hugs*
Love it. this rang so true for me. I remember entering motherhood with my pregnancy with Acacia with some ambivelance - what was I doing? Was I ready for a baby? Did I really want to be a mom? What did that mean.... so many questions and fears. Now I know without a doubt that I want to parent a living child. And I know I will be a much better mother from all that I learned from Acacia. thanks for sharing!
ReplyDelete